Where was I? Ah, yes, again I discovered that, true to form, "humans" cannot give an object one name. Oh, no! I later learned that I was on a "plane" a "jet", a "flight" and an "airplane". Why do they keep doing this? "Human" speech is bad enough to understand, but it appears every time a human looks at an object, he wants to name it something different than before. As I was saying, I was carried a long distance and then placed down where I could hear too many "humans" communicating. Then my adopted ones sat down, but not for long. Then they stood up, lifted my bag, and we walked and turned and the whole damned nightmare started over again. This was appaling! I didn't like it the first time, why should I feel any different now!! Again I had my wonderful body become compacted by the pressure. I was not pleased!! I meowed to let the "humans" hear (as if they really cared!) & know that I did not like this at all!. And a piece of ice was not going to satisfy me! I was only slightly comforted by the hum of this machine I was trapped in. Again, my body was forced to endure the terrifying drop from space. "Humans" must love pain, considering what they do to move quickly over land & water. A series of bumps, then began the (thankfully!) "march through hell", as I was pushed and banged and marched & dropped into a land moving vehicle. And I still couldn't see where I was! This was insufferable! Finally, after who knows how long, my freedom was granted (how kind of the "humans"), and I was at my new home. I wanted to hide, and I did! I found many places to be away from everything. One was in a corner of a cabinet behind sound equipment. Another was in a closet...there are many dark, small spaces that I can find & hide! I also escaped by resting behind a wooden chest. It took them a long time to find me. However, they relocated the chest. There was only a narrow entrance for me. But I was determined and eventually I was behind the chest. Then I realized that I could not get out! I was embarassed! The taller "human" had to move a sound object in order for me to leave my new hiding spot. The shame of it all! And I "hide" under the eating table for "humans". That isn't really "hiding", just "escaping" from my new home when it becomes necessary.
Like the first time the sky became dark, everything that glowed stopped glowing, and it was very dark inside. Outside there was a lot of wind and bright flashes in the darkness. There were loud noises. My "humans" & I sat together where it was light. As the light vanished, they ignited white sticks which glowed. Then the "humans" went into the lower level. But not I! Not then!
Later in time, but not then!
I did not like the lower level. It was too dark and narrow. But, time passed & I have basically enjoy my new surroundings. There are no more natural springs, just a drip from the top part of the corridor, something the "humans" refer to as an "A/C". The water drips into a big silver bowl, which the "humans" in turn pour into a hole that gets ride of the water. This is not the first time I have seen the water. Usually it falls on a piece of material, which is then picked up and thrown into the cleaning monster, to be replaced by another piece of material in the same or different color. There is no bottom, damp area as in the old lodgings. There is also no upper area which lets water fall into the "small room" and/or "closet", as they call it. (See, they have to give an object two names!) Or any area that has coverings, such as wood or a clear material, to stop the water. I can sleep & walk in every place where the "humans" can be found. And I do not hear anything walking above me when I am in the upper level. The floor is comfortable; I enjoy resting on the light brown or red areas, as well as the other assorted coverings on the floor, known as "carpets" or "rugs". (See what I mean, two names for one item! It's enough to make you howl or pee uncontrolably!)
"I hate vacuum cleaners! I hate motorcycles! I hate unexpected movements! I like garbage disposals! I like thunder! I do not like getting caught! I love comfortable places to rest! I love being petted or brushed! After all, I am the cat!"!
And that is a picture of the insufferable monster!
And then, these "humans" did the most horrible thing to me. On Monday, August 6, 2001, a day that will be etched forever in my memory, these "humans" picked me up and threw me into a "motor machine monster", or what you call...a 'car'. I was scared out of my hair, it caused me to shed uncontrollably! How I did not urinate I will never know. So I was 'placed' on Brad's lap, and he kept petting me. I guess he thought that would make me feel better...it did not! I didn't know what to do. We approached a street, and suddenly hundred, thousands of these smoke belchers were whizzing past me. I did the only thing I could...I hid my head and prayed to anyone & everyone who could understand the trauma I was experiencing to make it stop! The sooner the better...but it did not! We went up and down at a horrible speed, with great rocky cliffs on each side of us. Then we went downhill and turned left and slowed. Was this the end of the journey? It was not. We continued in a 'relaxed' manor through rural landscapes. I raised my head to peek outside and everything looked the same as in my first home, and in my new home. Why do "humans" do this? Is a tree different when it is viewed 100 miles from your home! In my opinion it does not! We went through a disgusting little town named "Madrid". Horrible entity, with tacky colored homes and signs that said "antiques" and "art", whatever that is to a "human". Again the flat lands, again the mountains, then we stopped...and proceeded to turn around and do it all again, but backwards. I was convinced that the sanity of my two "humans" was completely & utterly gone. Just when I thought this would be over soon, they made an unexpected turn. The road changed, as well as the altitude. We went back & forth and up & down for what felt like hours! Finally the car stopped and I was chained to a 'leash'. All I wanted to do was go home! Then, for who knows what reason, they wanted to take pictures of me with them. We could do this at home in any room at any time of any day...I never mind posing and preserving my elegance in pictures. But not them. Here we are, 10,000 feet in the air, a cold wind blowing at my fur, and they want to take pictures. I humored them (I have to do that often) and uncomfortably posed. Then, out of nowhere, an explosion occurred. At that point I was determined to get back to Albuquerque any way I could, the faster the better. The "humans" persuaded me to get into the car. We started off, and at that point, I thought of a way to get revenge. They placed me between their laps. When we swerving down the mountain, my body bumped the car's 'shift' (by accident, of course). How I enjoyed watching the "humans" wonder what had happened. But the thrill ended too soon. They used their intelligence and stopped the car, shifted into the drive, and we continued our 'merry' way back home, again competing with other "stench producing monsters" on the "interstate". We arrived home, and not a moment too soon. Never...never...ever do I want to experience that horror again! Never!
However, something good came out of something bad. For some unknown reason, I kept getting sick. I could not keep any food in my stomach. Even I did not know what was wrong! My 'clever' "humans" concluded it was due to "furballs". Furballs? Oh, yes, those nasty tasting things I used to expel when I was outdoors on the "East Coast" (the "human's" term for their previous residence). There was nowhere to get rid of them. But I did not feel good. My "humans" solved the problem by: a. getting me IAMS food to prevent the furballs from forming in my stomach (and IAMS tasted good, too!); and b. purchasing a brush. Now my wonderful fur is combed at least once a day, usually more...and I do not mind that at all! My fur shines, I enjoy the petting and attention, and my stomach no longer upsets me. And it never should again. After all, I am the cat! However, every once in a while, I get sick. I drink too much milk. But it tastes so good.! I can't help it if it makes me heave. I don't like to vomit!
Mike W.: But what Captain has forgotten to tell you is that he has found two hiding places that he could get into, but needed some help, translated into "needing our assistance", getting out of. One was the space between the cedar chest & the fireplace. The other was...
Captain: Shut Up, human!
Mike W.:...between the dryer & the wall.
Captain: I think we've all heard enough, Mike. You can go back to whatever it is you do when you're not paying attention to me.
Mike W.: He looked so embarassed.
Captain: That will be all!
Mike W.: OK, Captain.
And...and my biggest joy so far has been the discovery of...a big mirror! Hidden behind the door to their "bedroom" (where they do more than just sleep, let me tell you!) is a mirror. A big mirror! A very big mirror! And I can see myself! Isn't that just wonderful! I can see myself! Me! The cat!! Life has just become more blissful! And I now enjoy sleeping with my "humans" in their bedroom; even more so when they're not there & I have the entire bed to myself. Ahhh!
However, now that the weather is getting...chilly, I do not mind my "humans" sharing the bed with me. In fact, they keep me warm. Of course, I keep them warm, also. But there are two bodies to curl against, plus blankets for additional warmth. I will say it again...Ahhh!
And there is a walkway that goes up and down from the kitchen. When it's warm, I like to roll in the sunshine (we all have our own habits, good or bad). When I'm bored, I try to see if the bird nest has something young & alive in it, so I can make it young & dead. So far, nothing yet. But I can walk up & down and paw at the door on the bottom level. I can do this to the door inside the house as well. Isn't this fun!
Finally, I have litter boxes exactly where I want them. One is near the front door of the apartment; the second is in front of the door to the water heater. Purfect spots for moi to relieve oneself. Also the mat in front of the upper litter box is purfect to lie and bathe in the heat of the morning sun.
It's cold...so I need to ask to go outside & return inside. The door is no longer kept open. Something about windy and drafts and chills. Humans can be so annoying...at times.
Words to remember..."Don't piss on the carpet that supports your feet!".
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